When It Alteration Finds
by Polkat
Summary: A hex gone very wrong causes Sirius to change bodies with Peter. After his immediate despair he realises how much he simply didn't see before; the best way to know yourself is to look through someone else's eyes.
1. Part I

Author's note: I wrote this for the MWPP fuh-q fest some time ago and have been (im)patiently waiting to post it up for a while. I know Remus isn't in it very much this chapter and I apologise but he'll be in the next 3 alot more I promise. Er... yes, I don't think I have much else to add to this except that I have the other chapters written and ready and they will be posted every Monday until I don't have any more. If you can't bear to wait that long (look just humour me) the whole thing should be up at my livejournal (aralias) although I'm not too sure where. Leave me a note there and I'll get back to you. 

Extra note: appears to have changed since I was last here. It has a neat (ugh 50's slang) quick edit thing which is good but it won't let you do stars any more to break up sections which is horribly bad. So I have used the letter A (for alteration you see.) Yes, it looks stupid but I have no other choice! 

Ahem.... anyway 

Enjoy : ) 

* * *

There was a soft _'plop' _and what had been a wet-start firework, until Dr. Filibuster had been foolish enough to let Sirius Black anywhere near any of his products, quietly disappeared under the crimson surface of Snape's potion. Fortunately, Snape was engaged in a sniping match with James Potter and didn't notice or Sirius would have been unable to walk back to his own desk as if nothing had happened. In fact, he probably would have turned green or sprouted an extra head had Snape heard the tell-tale sound of a modified firework entering his perfect, half constructed potion; but he did not, and Sirius sat back down in his seat with his skin the colour he was normally accustomed to seeing it, with the usual number of heads and watched James complete his carefully planned diversion.

"Do you know what your problem is, Potter?" Snape eventually snapped.

"I'm sure you're about to tell me," James drawled, leaning casually against the desk next to Snape's, his hand in something rather unpleasant that he had not meant to put it down in.

As Head Boy he was not _really_ supposed to antagonise people, but the Marauders in general, and Sirius in particular, had decided that Snape was an exception (even, and especially, after the incident now known only as 'The Prank') and that it would probably be all right as long as James didn't do any of the actual mischief making.

Well… not in public at any rate.

"You're an arrogant, obnoxious git," Snape told him unpleasantly, as if nothing in the world would have pleased him so much as to see James Potter squashed into a greasy stain on the floor.

"_Severus_," James said, apparently wounded deeply, "I thought we were friends now…"

"Forgive me," Snape continued, once James had tailed off forlornly. "I must have forgotten to add 'stupid' and 'blind' to my list of your bad qualities… To which end I would like to point out that you have your hand in Pettigrew's tube worms, did you know?"

"I _know_," James replied casually, as if he had intended this all along. "They're good for your cuticles I hear."

Sirius caught James' eyes, rolled his own and smacked his head lightly against their desk, half suppressed laughter bubbling from his lips.

"Anyway I'd… better be going," James finished, removing his hand from Peter's ingredients with a quick: "sorry Wormtail; Nice talking to you Severus."

"The pleasure was entirely yours, I assure you."

James grinned. "I fear so."

He slid into the seat next to Sirius who was now pretending to be deeply absorbed in his text book. "Good for your cuticles?" he murmured under his breath, trying not to grin broadly. "How the hell do you know what cuticles are anyway?"

James tactfully ignored him and started to chop up the root in front of him. "It's in the cauldron?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Prongs," Sirius said, in a pained sort of voice. "Have I ever let you down before?"

"Sometimes, but not generally when fireworks are involved, I suppose."

"Trust me."

James raised his eyebrows.

"Alright, alright, don't trust me - just be ready to heap praise on me when-"

The cauldron exploded.

Sirius and James were miraculously unharmed of course: Sirius having reacted quickly, and above all, innocently, when he saw the first droplets of the, now indigo, potion hit the air and casting a shielding charm around their desk. Unfortunately, Sirius and James were always miraculously unharmed after these incidents and, as the chance of Severus Snape accidentally having made a sweating solution instead of a Pepperup Potion was slim to none considering his consistent O's, they were both kept behind after the rest of the class had been dismissed to the hospital wing: Snape, having caught most of the blast, sliding dangerously across the floor.

For a while Sirius argued valiantly that it was perfectly feasible Snape might have added the extra bubotuber puss by mistake himself, and that it was, in fact, really, _very_ unfair of Professor Rowley, their middle aged, amiable potions mistress, to suspect him of sabotage when there was no concrete evidence that indicated either he or James had been involved in the incident as anything more than casual observers with unusually quick reflexes.

"In fact Professor, I-"

"Mr Black," Rowley interrupted, a tinge of amusement colouring her voice.

Sirius stopped and tried to look innocent. "Yes, Professor?"

"As impressed as I am that you spent so long researching a potion that was so similar to construction and so different in effect to the Pepperup Potion, and as baffled as I am by the disappearance of the firework that must have been inserted into Mr Snape's cauldron, I have _no_ doubt that this particular crime was the work of yourself and Mr Potter." Her eyes flicked to James who had been skulking in the corner, trying to keep a straight face throughout Sirius' protestations. "Do you deny it?"

"No, I suppose not," he said with a smile. "I apologise for disrupting your lesson, Professor."

She waved it aside with a smile. "Perfectly alright. Ten points to Gryffindor for your impressive knowledge of potion work."

"Why thank you, Professor," James said with a smile and without surprise. "You are too kind."

"However, I am going to have to take fifty away for your unprovoked attack on Mr Snape and you each have a detention."

Sirius bowed his head. "Expected and justified." He grinned. "Have I ever told you you're my favourite teacher?"

"Frequently," she said ironically. "Though I am not foolish enough to believe you."

He laughed. "And that's why you're the best."

"_Indeed_." She smiled. "I'm afraid your detention won't be for several weeks, as I haven't the time at the moment: I hope you don't mind."

"I'm sure we'll manage," James grinned.

"I'm sure you will. You may go boys."

"Thank you."

They started towards the door and Sirius had his hand on the handle before Professor Rowley added almost as an after thought: "Oh and I don't want you partnering each other again in my lessons."

"What?!" Sirius exploded, stricken with shock. "You… you can't do that."

"I think you'll find I can, Mr Black," Rowley added, more firmly. "Whilst you may be able to pass this course without ever listening in my lessons there are others in the class less fortunate than yourself and I would like the environment to be fit to work in without any of the…ah, _amusing_ distractions you two seem to find so necessary. You will both find new partners before the next lesson."

"But-"

"That's final Mr Black."

A

Remus met them as they passed the Arithmancy corridor.

"How was potions?" he asked, falling into step with the other two. "I take it Peter's in the hospital wing along with everyone else foolish enough to keep taking that class with you two."

Sirius nodded. "Casualty of war… regrettable, but at least he doesn't have detention."

"Neither would you if you hadn't insisted on tormenting Severus _'one last time,_'" Remus reminded him. "It _is_ the last time, this time?"

"Sure," James said after a suspiciously long pause.

"Unless he does something to us," Sirius amended.

"He will," Remus told them, frowning. "He always does."

"Then it's not my fault, is it?" Sirius said happily, linking his arm around Remus' shoulders briefly to draw him back towards the centre of the group again. "Come on Moony, you know you want to ask what happened. You would have loved this one: it involved researching…"

"I do not like researching-" Remus protested, laughing.

"Don't lie to us Moony," James grinned, catching hold of Remus' arm and steering the other two down the corridor. "We know you do really. Let's go and see Pete."

A

They found Peter in the bed furthest from the door which meant Sirius had to pull Remus past Snape's bed quickly in case he stopped to apologise.

"Hello Wormtail!" James called enthusiastically, dumping himself down on top of Peter's feet. "How are you?"

Peter smiled. "Better than when Madam Pomfrey tried to stop the sweating with Pepperup Potion."

Sirius whooped. "I knew she would! Did she try it on Snivellus first?"

"I'm sure Peter appreciates your concern," Remus remarked dryly; Sirius made a face at him and turned back to Peter.

"So?"

"Yer, he was first… it took a while for her to realise it wasn't working so I had some too though."

Sirius started cackling. Remus coughed meaningfully and he managed a brief: "sorry Wormtail."

Peter waved the apology aside and focused on James. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to pull something in Potions?"

Although they were one distinct group: the Marauders, and theoretically each of them played an equal part in anything the others thought up, this was not always the case. James was the un-appointed leader and all of them knew it, even Sirius who liked to think he was in charge. It was James who organised things and James who quelled any petty disagreements. If Sirius tried to suggest something ridiculously dangerous it would be James who told him that it probably wouldn't work and coerced him into thinking up something equally ingenious that they had a better chance of carrying out, all limbs in tact. And, of course, it had been James who pulled Severus Snape away from the Whomping Willow half a year and a lifetime ago. It probably shouldn't have surprised his friends when he was made Head Boy and indeed Remus had gone around looking rather smug for the next couple of weeks making Sirius suspect he had known all along, but it had surprised Sirius; it was still surprising him in an unpleasant way that suggested it was almost time to grow up or James would leave him behind.

But if James was the leader Sirius was the planner: he had a 'gift' for exploiting the situation. Somehow he knew what would work, how it would work and what they would need to accomplish it properly. Unfortunately, he also knew what they wouldn't need. In this case he hadn't needed Peter and so hadn't included him. Remus, of course, might have merited a role had he not dropped potions like a hot cauldron the moment it became an option, but Remus was useful and Peter would have been in the way.

It wasn't that Sirius didn't value Peter: it was just hat he knew his value. Peter was good and kind and loyal; he would force himself to walk through fire or face down McGonagall, if James asked him to; he was so talented at chess that Sirius had stopped playing against him because it was humiliating to lose to Wormtail so often and he knew more about astronomy than any one including Remus. But he wasn't intelligent: he wasn't stupid either he was just _average_; but average, when compared to Sirius Black and James Potter, suddenly dropped in value until it became almost… worthless.

Sirius knew he should respect Peter for the things he _was_ good at, but had never fully managed it and so, today's prank had been carried out by only two of the Marauders; Sirius telling James that the plan was based on simplicity: that they would only need two, and knowing privately that if Peter were included on this occasion he would ruin it.

"We didn't want you to get in trouble needlessly," James said diplomatically, helping himself to the compulsory grapes that had appeared next to Peter's bed. "Rowley or Snivellus might have noticed if there three people moving round the classroom at once, y'know?"

"Oh," Peter said, trying to reconcile the slight hurt he felt about being left out with the logic James had presented. "Well, I suppose…" He brightened. "It _was_ a really good prank."

"Wasn't it?" Sirius grinned modestly, dumping himself on the bed next to James since Remus was already in the only chair in the near vicinity and didn't appreciate being sat on. "I - am a genius."

"Hey!" James exclaimed, affronted, as Sirius tried to steal Peter's grapes and his glory. "_I _distracted him. You just had to shove a firework in his cauldron."

"Yer," Sirius acknowledged. "But you were crap. "You only managed to get away with it because Snivellus is as stupid as he is ugly-"

"What?!" James exploded. "My distraction was a work of genius!"

"You said tube worms were good for your cuticles, Prongsie!" Sirius said, seriously as if James were a small child. He grinned. "Don't hear many genius' saying things that moronic: 'Hello Dumbledore, how're you?' 'I've just been soaking my cuticles in tube worms' 'Really?' 'Oh yes, Young James Potter, our Head Boy'-"

He was cut off as James tried to suffocate him with Peter's pillow.

"Argh - James you're killing me, you git!"

Peter watched the fight taking place on the end of his bed with interest and started eating his own grapes.

"Good, you deserve it: you credit-stealer."

There was something comforting about fighting with James, once one ignored the pain blossoming in one's nose as the pillow squashed it unnaturally to the side; something that suggested whatever happened, however much time passed the Marauders would always insist on battering each other with pillows at the slightest provocation.

Remus' lilting laugh distracted James long enough for Sirius to kick him off the bed.

"_Merlin_ that hurt!"

"And he is triumphant!" Sirius bellowed and aimed his pillow at Remus instead who gave up being dignified and hurled himself into the fray.

All in all it had been a very good day.

A

Nothing happened for a very long time.

It worried Sirius that nothing horrible had befallen him after a week. Two explanations existed to explain this: Either Snape had finally decided to concede to the inevitable: that he was always going to be second best to the Marauders. However, that seemed excessively unlikely which only left the second option: He needed a long time in order to think up something extremely nasty and carry it out with the precision he was famed for.

After two weeks Sirius was jumping at the slightest noise; after the third he and James were tailing Snape everywhere just in case he was planning something secretive that might be successfully ruined with the proper detective work; by the fourth he had begun to accept Remus' assurances that maybe Snape had grown up and wasn't going to react childishly just because Sirius would have in the same situation.

In other words: he was completely unprepared.

Potions had become distinctly dull once he had been forbidden from sitting with James. Peter, of course, was overjoyed to have been so unexpectedly promoted to James' 'lab partner'. He seemed to think it was some kind of reward for years of suffering in silence as James claimed they were all an equal group whilst clearly favouring Sirius as some kind of brother. The new, caring and understanding James had offered to partner someone else ("Lily perhaps… what?... Alright, alright: not Lily… but it was a serious offer. I don't mind Paddy: you can be with Wormtail if you want") but Sirius, whilst still being in a perpetual state of vague distaste when it came to Peter's worship of James, could not bring himself to be so obviously and callously cruel and had ended up partnering the pretty Ravenclaw who had, until this moment, sat next to Peter and corrected his average potions. She had also dated Sirius very briefly some time in fourth year and, if he remembered correctly, despised him for being an "arrogant, selfish berk" who had forgotten her birthday whilst they were an item.

"Hello Isabella," he said in what he hoped was a pleasant, non-berk-ish voice. "How are you this fine morning?"

"Go to hell, Black" she said in what he presumed was _not_ her pleasant non-berk-ish voice, and doodling viciously on her notepad in an effort to ignore the minor problem of Sirius' existence.

"Oh wonderful… My day? Well, it wasn't bad, how lovely of you to ask though," he murmured. "I can see this is going be another one of those _enjoyable_ lessons."

He swung in his seat and slid a hand across his throat towards James, who grinned helpfully and gave him a thumbs up. _"Woo her with your charming ways,"_ he mouthed.

"Go to hell," Sirius replied cheerfully, out loud.

"What?" Isabella snapped.

"Not to you, dear," he said absently and started copying down the instructions that had just appeared on the board.

Professor Rowley gave him a sunny smile filed with irony; Sirius returned it, shaking his head and concentrating on the potion. It didn't need concentrating on, not really, but he had nothing else to do except possibly taunt Snape who was now only a desk away and that would be frowned upon because, according to the rules of engagement, it was now Snape's turn and he seemed to have opted to be mature for once.

Sirius sighed. _Damn him to the eterrnal depths of hell._

The lesson passed silently and slowly. Nothing exploded; Sirius produced a turquoise potion that was supposed to be turquoise and packed away quietly, trying not to antagonise Isabella with any sudden movements.

"Thank you for another peaceful lesson Mr Black," Rowley called after them.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he replied, looping his battered school bag over his shoulder. "Come on James, Peter… let's go."

"Mr Pettigrew… if you would stay behind I'd like to discuss your last essay."

Peter sighed and sat back down his seat. "Of course, Professor. You two go on without me; I'll only be a moment… right?"

Rowley poked her head out from her desk in which, presumably, Peter's essay lurked. "What? Oh… yes, I promise I won't keep you more than five minutes."

"See you soon then, Wormtail," James said, clapping a friendly hand on the smaller boys shoulder. "Escape Paddy!"

They did not escape very far. James slumped into a seated position on the floor to wait, upholding his personal philosophy that there was no point standing when you could bloody well sit down, and Sirius ambled down the corridor half heartedly expecting to run into Remus eventually coming the other way. Instead he ran into somebody quite different.

"_Sirius Black_… what an _unexpected_ pleasure."

Sirius turned lazily on his heel and smiled disarmingly at Snape. "Snivellus," he drawled. "What an unpleasant surprise. I was beginning to think your slimy little brain had run out of ideas."

Snape smiled dangerously._ "Hardly."_

Sirius felt his fingers flex involuntarily; his wand stuck out of one of his back pockets but he could probably reach it. "Well I hope its good," he said pleasantly. "And I hope you're faster with your wand than you were last month… don't want do go away with our ears on backwards twice in one life time, do we? Well, when I say 'we' I really mean 'you'-"

"Your arrogance is overwhelming," Snape said silkily, fingering his wand. "Where are your little friends this time?"

"Padfoot, what the hell is going on?" James yelled down the corridor.

"Nothing Prongs," Sirius bellowed back. "Snivellus is trying to hex me but don't worry."

He heard James swear and then the sound of Peter and James pounding down the corridors, even though as Head Boy James should not only _not_ be running in the corridors, but should also be actively stopping other people from doing the same.

Sirius looked back at Snape whose wand was now dangerously close to his throat.

"What no more banter?" Sirius drawled, unconcerned. "Do your worst Snivellus: I promise they won't interfere… but you know it's terribly bad form to not even insult my family lineage or my attitude first."

Snape had turned involentarily at the sound of James' voice and, feeling distinctly flippant, Sirius called: "bloody look at me won't you."

"Padfoot-" James yelled again as Peter shouted:

"Sirius, don't do anything stupid!"

They skidded round the corner.

"Inflecte!" Snape intoned, quickly. _"Unus muto Unus; Corpus muto Corpus."_

"Expelliarmus!" James shouted, aiming roughly in Snape's direction.

"Inflecte!" Snape screeched again, swinging around almost involuntarily to avoid James' disarming spell and catching Peter in a jet of green sparks.

"Expelliarmus!" James bellowed again and this time Snape's wand flew from his hand and into James' as Snape himself was hurled from his feet and into the opposite wall.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Professor Rowley roared, emerging from the corridor. For a rather small woman she suddenly looked extremely dangerous and James pointed quickly at Snape who was sprawled across the floor. "Snape attacked Sirius, Professor. I was just disarming him."

Rowley's eyes flickered to Snape and then back to James who was smiling his most charming Head-Boy smile. "Well, there was no need to disarm him quite so violently Mr Potter," she said seriously.

"No, Professor," James replied, looking contrite. "Sorry."

"Hmm… There will be twenty points from Slytherin. Mr Snape I suggest you come with me, and I'll speak to you, Mr Black, during your detention this afternoon which I trust you've remembered."

Snape picked himself up of the floor, scowling darkly.

James gave him a cheery wave once Rowley's back was turned: "Bye Severus… better luck next time."

Once they had gone he started laughing. Neither of the others joined in. James stopped.

"Hello?" he said, waving his hand in front of Sirius' face. "Padfoot, what the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

"I'm not… me," Sirius said slowly from behind him.

James swung around, slightly baffled. "Pete-"

"No, he's right," Peter said with a slight air of wonder. "I'm him."

James looked back, growing angry. "What the fuck are you on about?"

"I'm not me anymore," Sirius answered with Peter's voice, in Peter's body; the panic, he knew was there, hidden under layers of disbelief. "Snape's… he's bloody done it, Prongs… found the ultimate revenge…"

He looked down at the wand, which was Peter's, in his hands, which were Peter's; back at James who was staring at him in amazement and across at the other boy who was pushing Sirius' long black hair out of the way of his face because it obscured his view.

"_Shit_."


	2. Part II

AN: It's lucky I didn't say "without fail!" last time because… I've already failed. This is not Monday… not in any part of the world. Still… Tuesday will have to do.

* * *

They made it back to Gryffindor tower without Sirius murdering James who insisted on peppering the stony silence with confused: "But how could this happen?"s. 

"I don't know, alright?" he snapped at last as James asked the dreaded question for the twenty-seventh time. "Just give me time to think."

"Password?" the fat lady inquired.

"James is a goody-two-shoes," Sirius told her, still scowling.

The portrait swung open and the three boys clambered through, James expressing his distaste about their new password.

Sirius scanned the common room briefly: Remus was not there. However, he _could_ see Lily Evans, who had Ancient Runes with the missing Marauder, sitting by the fireplace.

"Oi Evans, is Remus up in the tower already?"

_"Sorry?"_ She looked up, slightly surprised; slightly annoyed. Her face softened slightly as she saw that it wasn't Sirius shouting at her. "Oh, Peter: it's you. No, he's not here. He stayed behind to talk to Professor Finel about something."

Peter. Right: I'm Peter. "Oh… thanks… _James_."

James had stopped to say something to Lily who had only agreed not to despise him two months, a week and two days ago. He looked up and saw Peter glaring at him: a sight that was sufficiently incongruous to remind him of the situation even in the face of Miss Evans' many attractions. "Ah yes… right. Dormitory. Got it."

They trudged up the stairs, Sirius finding it peculiarly difficult to navigate the changing heights with legs that were shorter than normal. He flung the door open and hurled himself onto his own bed that now seemed odd: Peter's senses not used to his smell, and suppressed the urge to curl up and disappear until someone managed to fix this nightmare, or, if that was not an option, simply to scream very loudly until it went away. He did neither of these things, however: the Black training ingrained too deeply to relax its hold now, and, with difficulty, he managed to push himself into a dignified seated position and regarded the other two (or at least regarded James; it was too weird to look at Peter just yet.) "So," he said, calmly. "What the hell has happened?"

There was a pause whilst they all considered this.

"It doesn't make sense that Snape would want to switch you and Peter," James mused, apparently adapting quite well to the change as long as Sirius still behaved like Sirius.

"No, that's what I thought," Sirius replied, reaching up to fiddle with his hair and finding it too short. "…He must have been trying to swap bodies with me… which… is oddly flattering when you think about it-"

"Not to mention deeply disturbing," James added with a grin.

Sirius ignored him. "Clearly, he failed and cast it on Peter instead…for which I would like to thank Merlin for small mercies: I don't know if I could stand being Snivellus."

"You could always wash his hair and do us all a favour," James laughed.

"Agh no!" Sirius exclaimed with mock horror. "I'd be forced to shower with my boxers on constantly… Talk of that horror no more my dear Prongs: fortunately, it was averted by the timely arrival of yourself and Mr Wormtail." Tentatively he leant back against the head board of his bed. Nothing terrible happened. He exhaled. "First things first: how can we change it back and how quickly can we do it? Any ideas?"

"Restricted Section?" James offered. "Probably something in there that would help us if we knew the spell. Did you hear it?"

"No," Sirius frowned. "You didn't, I suppose?"

"If I had I wouldn't have asked you, now would I?"

"I'm under a lot of stress here, Jamie: _be_ sympathetic." He forced himself to look at the person who was and was not himself. "Pete?"

There was a silence that James filled helpfully with some tuneless humming.

Eventually Peter said: "What, sorry?"

Sirius sighed exaggeratedly. "Did you hear the spell Snivellus cast, Wormtail?"

"No," Peter said. "Sorry."

"Are you… alright?" James asked, looking concerned. Sirius' first instinct was to say: _"Why the hell shouldn't he be?" _but, now he looked closer, he could see that Peter _was_ rather pale; one of Sirius' elegant, ink stained hands twitching nervously on his lap.

"No, not really," Peter answered after a pause. "I… This is so weird, y'know? I feel like I've grown over night and haven't had time to adapt to it; my voice is wrong… it's like bloody puberty all over again."

"I resent that," Sirius said, with forced lightness. "This isn't exactly a dream experience for me either you know."

"No I know… Sorry, Padfoot. It's just like some sadistic wish fulfilment-"

"_Wish fulfilment_?" Sirius demanded, the tentative control he had over his anger snapping.

Peter blushed which was especially odd because, whilst Peter blushed all the time Sirius Black was only embarrassed on very special occasions and had not blushed at any of those. "Well, you know… I'm… the plain best friend… I've always kinda hoped…" He laughed bitterly: a sound that fit into Sirius' mouth much more naturally. "I never thought it would happen and now it has I…" He paused and tried a smile. "Don't worry about me Prongs. I'm fine really… Let's just work on trying to fix it."

"Agreed," James said, still looking worried. "Second thing first: Do we tell Dumbledore?" He looked around as he always did before announcing his decision, gauging their reactions before he told them what he thought. "My vote's for no."

"Mine too," Peter offered, which was _excessively_ un-surprising since he always agreed with James. "We can work this out on our own and, if we tell Dumbledore, Snivellus will know he's got to us which is bad, right?"

"A good point," James agreed, automatically taking the role of chairman. "Sirius?"

Sirius was torn.

On one hand, he hated being Peter: he knew that already. Everything felt wrong, as the smaller boy had already stated. It wasn't like taking the Polyjuice Potion where you physically became the other person: your limbs grew to the specifications of new genetic information. No, this was a rough shift into someone else's form that you didn't quite fit into: like trying to insert a small wooden square into a large circular hole on a child's toy: it could be pushed into place as long as you didn't mind it sticking to the sides in places and leaving large semi-circular gaps round the edges in others.

That was bad enough. Worse, however, was the bit of his mind that said: "being intelligent isn't enough; people like you because you look like _that… _not like _Peter_."

It might be true but Sirius had been perfectly happy not knowing and he had been rather looking forward to keeping things that way. Being Peter offered opportunities for self discovery that he should have been willing to explore but that he knew he didn't want. Sirius just wanted to be Sirius Black: to be witty and intelligent, to be the only Gryffindor in a house of Blacks, to be James Potter's best friend, to be Padfoot and yes, alright, fine: to be the best looking boy Hogwarts had seen for years. Once he'd finally left his parents' house he'd thought everything had a chance of working out alright after all: this could ruin it.

On the other hand he also hated the idea of Snape winning.

"We don't tell Dumbledore," he agreed finally. "We find a solution on our own."

"Excellent," James beamed. "Research! Moony will love it."

"Do we tell Moony?" Peter asked hesitantly.

Sirius lobbed a pillow at him. "Of course we do, you fool. He'd know anyway."

"You think?" James grinned wickedly. "Let's see how long it takes him then."

"A galleon on under ten minutes."

"You're on," James agreed. "And no cheating which includes talking like you until he guesses so don't even think about it, Padfoot."

Sirius, who had been planning on exactly that, sighed exaggeratedly and shook James' hand. "Prongs you will be the death of me… but, for now, you have yourself a deal."

"If we're not going to tell Dumbledore do we have to act like each other all the time?" Peter asked, nervously.

"I… hadn't thought about," James confessed. "But yer I guess you'll have to. It shouldn't be too hard though."

"Easy for you to say," Sirius countered. "You just have to be you."

"True," James admitted. "But you two have known each other for seven years… I'm sure it'll be fine."

"What about classes?" Peter piped up, looking positively terrified. "Sirius always knows the answers… How am I go-"

"Don't worry about it," Sirius snapped irritably. "I'll figure something out… or Moony will if he ever arrives: what the hell is so interesting he has to talk to Finel for ... what's the time?"

James consulted his watch. "Half four."

"You are joking, of course," Sirius said flatly.

"…No?" James guessed, confused.

"Bollocks!" Sirius leapt of the bed and tried rather futilely to straighten his tie. "We're late for detention."

"You mean _I_ am," Peter commented, cautiously.

"What do you mean-" Sirius started angrily.

"_Sirius Black_ has detention," Peter pointed out, colouring again. "I just thought it would be odd if Peter Pettigrew showed up for it."

There was a pause.

"You're right…" Sirius said slowly, sinking back down on his bed. "…And you're late; you'd better hurry up."

"Paddy-" James began.

"Go on James, you're going to get me" he pointed at Peter "into trouble."

James looked like he was going to say something else but Sirius shook his head. "I'll be fine. Go." As they reached the door Sirius added: "Anyway, it's Wormtail for the time being."

A

Remus returned twenty minutes after the others had vanished. He took one look at Sirius who was valiantly pretending to be Peter by lying, bored in the middle of his bed, dumped his books on the floor and sat down next to him. "What's different?" he asked, suspiciously.

Normally Sirius would have said: "Not allowed to tell you" either in a sulky or a sing-song voice, depending on how annoying he was feeling, however, the challenge of _"no cheating"_ had been lain and he managed a rather weak: "Nothing."

Remus prodded him affectionately. "Don't lie. Something's wrong: I can tell and, even if I didn't have my wonderful friend intuition, you may have noticed that you're lying on Sirius' bed which is very odd to say the least." Sirius swore mentally and Remus added: "I'm surprised he hasn't killed you already actually: you're messing up all his carefully preserved creases and his special _smell_."

"He said it would be alright," Sirius lied, pathetically. "My bed is-"

_What? _What could, _possibly_, be wrong with his bed?

"Wet," he decided.

"Not like that," he added quickly, as Remus raised his eyebrows. "Sirius chucked a bowl of water over me this morning."

Remus frowned. "I must have missed that… still; it does sound like something he'd do." He smiled fondly. "Sirius Black: the most sensitive friend a guy could ask for."

Sirius smirked. "Damn right."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You should have just dumped water over him," he offered, grinning. "Preferably after he'd already done his hair." He raised his hands dramatically. "The ultimate revenge." The grin became more wolfish as, presumably, he imagined the scene; he laughed and moved back over to his desk. "How was potions then? The dastardly duo still sulking because someone was perceptive enough to split them up?"

Did Remus always talk about him like this when he wasn't there?

_'He talks about you like this even when you are there'_ Sirius' brain prompted.

"Er, yer I think so." He sat up and looked across at his friend who was writing something he couldn't quite see. Remus nodded and made an unhelpful conversation-place-holder noise that sounded a bit like_ "mmm." _

"Isabella seems to be warming to Sirius, again," Sirius continued, realising Remus was not going to hold this conversation together if he didn't.

"Is she indeed?" Remus asked, a smile hidden in his voice. "I thought she might."

"Didn't try and set him on fire at all today… I think he's relieved."

The quill stopped scratching and Remus remarked dryly: "Well he should be. Isabella Claudius is not someone he should underestimate: if he annoys her he could well find himself walking away with an arm missing or, knowing her, another part of his anatomy he's rather more fond of… As it is, the infuriating git will probably walk away with a _date_." He turned back to whatever it was he was doing and shook his head, smiling. "The worst part of it all is that I can't even hate him for it… which," he remarked thoughtfully, "would make life so much easier… Fancy a game after I've finished this and before the others get back?"

He paused again. "Actually: where are they?"

"Detention," Sirius said getting off the bed and walking towards Remus. "What _are_ you doing anyway?"

"Writing this down before I for- _Stop!"_

Sirius stopped; Remus turned around to watch his progress.

"Walk back to the bed and walk towards me again."

Sirius laughed but did as he was told. "I swear you're getting weirder by the day," he said, grinning.

"Probably," Remus admitted, frowning slightly. "But that doesn't explain why you're walking like Sirius…. What the hell happened today, Padfoot?

A

It was a relief to tell Remus.

Remus didn't make light of the situation like James had (and like Sirius would have had it been anyone else,) didn't offer him exaggerated sympathy or start panicking; he simply listened as Sirius told him what had happened: carefully sliding over the bit where he'd challenged Snape to 'do his worst' and knowing Remus would guess that something of the sort had happened even though Sirius hadn't told him.

"Then we came up here looking for you. When you weren't there we decided without you that it would be better to try and find a solution on our own rather than tell Dumbledore," he finished.

Remus nodded: digesting the information. "And then, presumably, you and James made a bet about how long it would take for me to guess."

"No-" Sirius began; Remus raised his trademark eyebrow and Sirius decided it was safer to change his no to a: "Well… not a bet, exactly… more of a wager between friends."

"How did I do?"

"Nine minutes," Sirius told him, consulting the clock on the wall since his own, rather expensive watch, was now attached to Peter's wrist. "I won," he added, in case his friend was interested.

Remus smiled. "Only you two would bet on something like this." He tapped his quill thoughtfully against one of his cheeks. "Suggesting indifference, perhaps even… _amusement_ at Severus' pathetic attempt to disrupt your lives," he said neutrally, his eyes finding Sirius'. "But, this is actually, almost, the worst thing he could have done to you, isn't it?"

Remus' eyes were brown. They were not the piercing amber or pale silver orbs promised by the limited number of books that claimed to be about werewolves in the Hogwarts library. They were just brown: willing to hold his gaze until walls of dignity and control collapsed.

_"Merlin,_ you've got to help me, Moony," Sirius pleaded: abandoning dignity until a better time. "I've been Wormtail for about an hour and already I think I'm going insane."

"You were already insane," Remus pointed out mildly, drawing back into his chair now Sirius was no longer pretending to be alright.

"Well… _more_ insane," Sirius agreed. He cast around desperately for something entice Remus with. "I'll… bake you a cake. A really big one."

Perhaps despite himself, Remus started laughing. "You can't cook," he explained in between giggles. "Besides, if I wanted cake, I could go and ask the house elves who would be overjoyed to furnish me with as much cake as I could ever manage to eat."

"Alright not cake," Sirius conceded. "A box of sugar quills?"

Remus continued laughing; Sirius scowled at him. "You know sometimes I wonder why I like you."

"Believe me: I wonder exactly the same thing all the time." Sirius threw a cushion at him. Remus caught it, twisting his fingers in the braiding absently. "But that doesn't mean l won't help you, you great oaf. That's what friends are for: to get their friends out of ridiculous situations." He threw the cushion back at Sirius. "Although I'll expect those sugar quills once you're you again."

"You have yourself a deal there, Mr Moony," Sirius declared, in relief. "A box of the finest sugar quills will be purchased as soon as Mr Padfoot and Mr Wormtail are back in their rightful places."

"How is the real Peter?" Remus asked more seriously.

Sirius considered this for a second. "Er… well he's Peter, isn't he?" ("How ironic," Remus murmured.) "I think he's kinda in shock… can't decide how to feel. He's petrified of pretending to be me in class-"

"Unsurprising, but I think I know how we can fix that."

"And kept wittering on about wish fulfilment or some other rubbish."

"Ah," Remus said. "Yes, I suppose he would."

"You mean you understand?"

Remus shrugged. "Well he has told me before but I would have guessed eventually." When Sirius still showed no signs of comprehension Remus sighed slightly and continued. "I'm going to hate myself for telling you this when I regain my senses but you are… _were_, I suppose, Sirius Black: the boy all the other boys want to be and all the girls want to be with." He ran his fingers through his hair: something he only did when he was embarrassed. "Peter, of course, finds it even harder not to be envious of you because you're so close to James: the person he admires most in the world." He smiled slightly and stopped playing with his hair. "And you know: it doesn't help that you're such a tosser either. If you were nicer people wouldn't hate you so much for being so bloody perfect."

"Please, Moony: don't sugar-coat the issue," Sirius deadpanned. "I want the truth: what _do_ people think of me?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "You know you can be a git a lot of time; yes, you _can_ be wonderful, charming and funny some of the time, but only with us and not always with Peter."

Sirius shrugged. "Why should I waste my time sucking up to people I don't like?"

"I have no idea," Remus said absently.

"And I am nice to Peter."

"Ok."

There was a pause whilst Sirius thought of something to say, eventually he landed on: "You want to be me?"

Remus smiled slightly. "No; I don't belong to that group…. James doesn't want to be you either but I suspect we're in the minority."

"Oh _really?"_Sirius smiled. "I'll have to investigate that further once you've figured out how to fix this."

"You could always do it yourself."

"I want you to help," Sirius insisted, with all the innocent charm of a three year old.

"I'm touched," Remus remarked dryly. "Now I really have to finish this; do you think you can manage not to destroy anything for about ten minutes?"

"For you: anything," Sirius promised, grinning.

Remus smiled back: "I'll remember that," and turned away to work on his essay.


	3. Part III

AN: Ah ha! Remembered today... mainly thanks to 'beady' who reviewed today and said "you do know you keep not finishing your stories, don't you?"  
To which I would like to say: well.... _some_ of them are finished. For exmaple this one: I'm just spreading it out because I like reviews. 

This chapter features me having writer's block I think: See if you can tell.

* * *

When Sirius awoke the next morning he kept his eyes closed for as long as he could conceivably convince himself he was still asleep and then opened them hesitantly, holding his hand before his face.

Peter's newly clipped nails.

Not a dream then.

Bugger.

James and Peter had returned from their detention last night in high spirits: apparently Rowley had been lenient and had merely asked them to concoct a cauldron of Pepper-up potion to replace the stuff they had ruined. Sirius collected his galleon from James, who maintained that Sirius must have cheated somehow, and Remus explained about the pieces of parchment he had altered so that any writing from one appeared on the other.

His plan was that Peter and Sirius could use these pieces of parchment to communicate, undetected, during lessons. It was an old invention: part of the original Marauder's Map and, after repeated pestering before the others returned, Remus had distracted Sirius with his idea and the challenge of creating two new pieces of enchanted parchment. As Sirius had been the one to invent the things in the first place he had been reasonably confident he could work the spell himself whilst Remus finished his writing.

When it refused to adhere to the paper he was horrified. It was clear that the well of magic that normally dwelt inside him had been transferred with his physical body and now belonged to Peter. He was no longer nearly as powerful as he should have been.

Remus had broken away from his work when Sirius informed him, voice breaking, that he had become a squib and that his life was over. With a soft smile, keeping his hand on Sirius' arm, Remus explained quietly that Peter had managed to pass six years worth of magical learning and that he must be a reasonably powerful wizard; that it was just a shock and that Sirius could probably work the spell as long as he didn't push his magic too hard.

So Sirius had tried, slowly and gently, to make the spell. However, it soon turned out that, whilst the magical core of Sirius' being was part of his body, his _wand_ was connected to his mind. When the others returned Sirius had pounced desperately on Peter who had, apparently, not noticed that anything was different: unused to being anything other than average he had accepted the muting of power that occurred when using another wizard's wand merely as normality.

Sirius had his own wand back now, cloaked in a glamour which he had insisted on casting himself even though he knew casting a spell on a magical object required more power than he really had control over any more. This spell was probably the reason he felt so rotten this morning but he was not going to give up. Sirius Black was not _useless_: he could cast a simple glamour on a wand.

He had gone to sleep early on Remus' suggestion, hoping that miraculously everything would be different in the morning.

He hadn't really been surprised when it wasn't. That would have been too easy. He stumbled into the shower and out again. This would be a very long day.

A

But, perhaps merely to be perverse, the day passed very quickly and Sirius found himself almost… _enjoying_ the challenge pretending to be Peter entailed. At first during Transfiguration he kept his head down almost touching the back row desk Peter had claimed as his own six years ago: sure that the moment he met McGonagall's eyes she would know that he wasn't Wormtail. This wasn't unnatural behaviour as Peter spent a lot of time trying to go unnoticed but eventually McGonagall spotted his silence. "Mr Pettigrew?" she snapped.

Somewhere in front of him, in a place strategically chosen for its inconspicuousness ,Sirius could see the dark head that now belonged to Peter give an involuntary twitch until it had moved into a position that suggested it had been working the entire time and that with your inquiry, you were, in fact, deterring it from doing any more work.

Smiling slightly, Sirius tried to imitate the movement, looking up rather guiltily. "Yes, Professor?"

"The rest of the class have been discussing Metamorphmagi. I wonder if you could tell me the name of the spell that will transform a wizard into a Metamorphmagi."

This is a trick, Sirius' brain supplied. To see if I've been listening.

He glanced down at the parchment in front of him on which Peter had written: _'Switching spell? Sorry. I don't know.'_

"Don't look at your book!" McGonagall insisted. "I told you this at the beginning of the lesson.

Sirius tried to look perplexed. "Um… a switching spell?" he offered.

McGonagall frowned. "Try _listening_ Mr Pettigrew," she said, swirling back to the front of the classroom.

"Sorry Professor." Absently he doodled _'Metamorphmagi are born not made'_ on his parchment.

"Mr Black: same question."

"Metamorphmagi are born not made," Peter intoned gracefully, leaning back in his chair the way Sirius did whenever he answered a question he should not have answered correctly.

'There are ways-' Sirius wrote idly.

"- to change a wizard's physical appearance," Peter continued. "The tradition glamour for one or the Polyjuice Potion but these are temporary and require-"

"Yes, _thank you_: that will be enough," McGonagall interrupted. "Mr Pettigrew, I suggest you learn this."

"Yes Professor."

"And Mr Black, I suggest _you_ at least pretend to be paying attention in my lesson because one of these days I am going to ask you a question to which you will not have already learnt the answer."

"I'll be waiting," Peter grinned, _"Professor."_

Something tapped gently into Sirius' ear and he reached up, removed the tiny paper bird and unfolded it.

'Had you realised Peter was such a good actor?' Remus had written. _'He's almost showing you up.'_

Sirius laughed slightly and added: _'Nobody shows me up Moony. Just you wait until James does something good' _underneath Remus' message.

Deftly, he folded the bird again and let it swoop back towards Remus who was sitting next to Peter. Unlike Sirius, Remus had been expecting the bird's arrival and let it alight on his hand. Sirius watched him reading the message, laugh silently and hand it over to Peter.

There was a pause and then Peter's handwriting appeared on the parchment in front of Sirius: '_I assume you already know this but if James does something good in class you merely smile proudly. Something good on the Quidditch pitch merits an excited scream. Anything else is up to you.'_

Thrown off guard Sirius wrote: '_Was that a joke, Pete?'_

'You'll see'.

'I'll see what?'

'You'll see'

Annoyed now, Sirius scribbled: '_Stop-' _before McGonagall, who had presumably spotted the bird right in the beginning, suggested that if Mr Pettigrew spent more time doing his work and less time passing notes to his friends he might do better in Transfiguration and Sirius was forced to smile weakly and abandon his enquiries.

A

Fortunately for both Peter and Sirius only Remus had been brave enough (or had hated potions enough) to opt to take lessons his friends were not. Sirius and James both wanted to be aurors and Peter wanted to do whatever James was doing, which meant he had to continue with potions even though he was almost as bad as Remus had been. Then, strangely, James had announced to everyone's amazement at the end of their fifth year that he wanted to take Astronomy as well as the more traditional lessons required by the ministry, even though he had spent the last five years coasting along in the subject on his friends' knowledge. Sirius had been moderately disgusted but, since he was far better at Astronomy than James, had reluctantly agreed to take the class with him. Remus was also ironically fond of Astronomy and joined them for Peter's favourite lesson as well as for Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Charms whilst favouring Ancient Runes above Potions and Care of Magical Creatures over Divination.

After two years (five if you counted the pre-NEWT years) of inventing dubious futures under the steely eye of Professor Ammanon, who had never really liked him, Sirius was starting to wish he had taken Care of Magical Creatures with Remus instead. However, it was much too late now, and whilst Divination was almost as boring as History of Magic had been, it was at least very easy. Peter didn't need help from him in this class as it mainly involved sleeping and waking up very quickly if Ammanon called on you.

Today they were reading each other's auras which involved closing your eyes and concentrating very hard on the essence that surrounded your partner. So far Sirius had seen nothing hanging around James which was not only unsurprising but actually expected as he hadn't been trying in any way.

"Amy," Ammanon called, striding about the class briskly: "What have you discovered about Elizabeth in today's lesson?"

Amy Sutton's answer was predictable, extremely dull and something about the number of rabbits her friend owned: something she must have known before hand. However, rather astonishingly, this answer seemed to satisfy their teacher (perhaps rabbit-ownership hovered very near the edge of a person's auror) and Sirius made a note of it in case he too was called upon.

Unlike all the other teachers Professor Ammanon had elected to call most of her pupils by their first names in order to get to know the people behind the names with greater ease. Presumably it had not occurred to her that it was unfair to mark out those she hated by calling them by their surnames; either that or she simply didn't care. Previously both Sirius and James had been included in this category, however Ammanon had warmed to James once he became Head Boy, which was almost like having Dumbledore's seal of approval stamped across his forehead, and now the only person to be referred to by their surname was:

"Mr Black…" Ammanon swooped closer until she was less than a meter away from Peter. "There is something distinctly… odd about your aura; something…. very strange indeed."

Sirius was impressed despite himself. So, Ammanon had noticed he had Peter had switched: that was interesting. He had always loudly voiced the opinion that Ammanon was a big, fat phoney; that Divination was a pile of Doxy droppings and that anybody who believed it deserved what they got.

That he had had once said this to her face was probably behind her distinct hatred of him.

"Yes," Ammanon said, nastily. "It appears, my dear, that you are terribly empty inside." She waved her hand in the vague direction of his supposed aura. "Your aura is very thin… almost _transparent_. I am very sorry, dear, but it appears you will have a very lonely life."

"I can't see yours at all," Sirius offered sweetly.

Ammanon's head snapped up. "Peter, I am surprised at you." She had always liked Wormtail. "I would have expected such an answer from Mr Black but not from you… Yes… your aura is pulsing very strangely, my dear. Are you sure you are quite well?"

Overwhelmed with his good fortune, Sirius clutched slightly at his chest. "Actually Professor, I _do_ feel rather woozy. Would it be alright if I went down to the hospital wing?"

"Of course, dear," Ammanon said kindly. "Come back whenever you're ready.

'Yer like that's going to happen.'

James made a sort of exasperated gasp as Sirius grinned at him cheerfully and headed down the step ladder. As the trap door closed he heard Ammanon snap: "Back to work, Mr Black."

Laughing, Sirius headed down to the fields near the Forbidden Forest where he spent a very enjoyable hour watching Remus learn to fly an Abraxan.

A

They had Quidditch practice that afternoon, or rather, James and Peter had Quidditch practice and Sirius and Remus sat in the stands and watched.

Whilst all the Marauders had tried out for the team as soon as they reached second year and it became an option, only James had been immediately offered a place as a chaser. Sirius had sulked for almost an entire year until, fortunately for everybody involved, both the team's beaters left Hogwarts and he was finally accepted; Remus had stopped attending tryouts after their fourth year; Peter had gone to every one. Like so many things, the problem was not that Peter was a bad player. In fact he was quite a good player and at another time might have made the team; but at the moment they had a side that had won Sirius Black and James Potter the admiration of their peers and the Quidditch cup for Gryffindor three years in a row.

"This is really boring," Sirius commented, after an hour had passed and the novelty of watching the practice had worn off.

Remus, who had been watching the Gryffindor Seeker Basil Newbury streaking after what might have been the snitch, looked round at him quizzically. "I thought you liked Quidditch."

Sirius made a non-committal noise and starred back at the red blurs in the sky. "Pete's not a beater, is he?" he added idly, as Peter recoiled from the bludger hurtling towards him and tried to strike out at it within the same movement.

"He's a keeper," Remus agreed. "Shame we already have Edwin."

They fell back into silence again, broken only by the team captain Robert Sullivan yelling at someone for something (Sirius couldn't hear the words but knowing Sullivan it was entirely possible he was just shouting because he liked shouting.)

"Why do you always call people by their first names," he asked eventually.

"Eh?" Remus asked, caught off guard.

"You. Why do you always call everyone by their first names?"

Remus looked totally baffled. "Because that's their name?" he offered. "I don't understand."

"I haven't heard anybody else called Channing _'Edwin'_… well… ever I suppose."

Remus shrugged and then grinned. "Perhaps it's so I can _'relate to people more easily once the spiritual barriers between a person and his name have been broken down,'" _he suggested, mimicking Professor Ammanon. "Does she still insist on calling you '_Mr Black'_?"

"Every time."

"Good." He smiled and went back to watching the players. "Watching you two snipe at each other politely was always my favourite part of the lesson."

"I will never understand why people think you're sweet."

Remus' lips twinged into a half smile but he didn't rise to the bait. "No comment," he answered.

Sirius fidgeted a bit more before whining: "Moony, I'm _boooooooored."_

Remus looked surprised. "Are you really? I would never have guessed."

"Ha ha," Sirius returned ironically. "You a such a wit."

"I know: It's tiresome sometimes: being this clever."

"I'm sure it is, but unfortunately, despite your charming repartee, I'm still bored. Let's do something! _Please_."

Remus stared at him, almost mesmerised, for a moment then burst out laughing. "You have no idea how funny it is watching Peter pout," he explained.

Sirius fished some parchment and a quill out of his pocket. "Don't pout whilst you're Peter," he wrote, speaking out loud at the same time. "Unlike when I'm me, Moony thinks it's funny when I'm Peter which is distinctly embarrassing."

"I'm sorry," Remus apologised, not sounding very sorry but apparently penitent enough to finish with: "Look, we can play chess if you like."

Sirius rolled the parchment up again. "An excellent suggestion Mr Moony," he decided "with just one minor flaw: We don't have any chessmen."

"Well I do," Remus informed him. "Peter and I always stop actually watching the practice after about thirty minutes."

He grinned as this information sank in.

"You git!" Sirius exploded, looking around for something to throw at Remus and upon finding nothing contenting himself with rabid tickling. "I can't believe you made me watch this for an hour and half!"

"Very impressed…." Remus managed, through laughter. "Thought you…. give up… ten minute…. Get off you loon!... Won't… help you…"

Sirius pulled away. "Consider yourself lucky."

"So should you," Remus returned, trying to fight his hair until it looked in some way like it had when he'd left the dormitory this morning. "I don't want to give Peter a black-eye so you're safe for now."

"I'm trembling."

"Mmm well you should be. Tickling should be classed as cheating… mind you," he smiled, "that would probably just encourage you."

Sirius grinned back. "Probably," he agreed.

Still laughing slightly Remus said: "There should be a board and a set of chessmen in Peter's robes somewhere."

Sure enough after foraging through the five extra pockets that Peter's mother had presumably charmed to hold more than they should have done, Sirius produced a set of talkative chess men and a small wooden square that he shook out until it resembled a chess board.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about this before hand," he said, as he released the chess men to surge onto the board.

"Personally, I can't believe you didn't ask before hand," Remus returned. "Pawn to E4. It'll be nice to win for once," he decided as his white pawn leapt energetically forward.

"What makes you think you're going to win?" Sirius retorted. "I happen to be an excellent player." Remus raised an eyebrow; Sirius ignored him. "Knight to C6. You are going down, my friend!"

"Oh yer?"

"Yer."

He lost spectacularly: the pieces realising about fifteen minutes into the game that he wasn't Peter and refusing to cooperate. Remus, who was really an awful chess player and who had probably suspected that Sirius' pieces would rebel because he was annoying like that, was delighted and, when Peter and James landed, exhausted after three hours of practice, insisted on happily detailing the entire match to Peter as they trekked back to the common room; Sirius hanging back with James who seemed to think he should be upset about losing.

A

A week passed.

And despite going to the library every evening and checking various dangerous looking books using James' Head-Boy-privileges and Madam Pince's fondness for Remus they had still not managed to locate the spell that Snape had accidentally cast on Sirius and Peter. After two or three evenings Remus had tentatively suggested that "telling Dumbledore might not actually be a bad idea" but the uproar this had created had seen them thrown from the library and he had not offered this opinion again.

Sirius was almost getting used to being Peter. He still didn't like it, but the revelation that he wasn't himself had ceased to be a paralysing shock every morning. There were also, he discovered, certain advantages to his predicament: one of them being that he got to sit next to James in potions again, another that he no longer had to attend Quidditch practice at five o'clock in the morning just because Sullivan suspected the team had become too complacent rising at eight and finally, most surprisingly of all, that he got to spend a lot more time with Remus. Before the change Sirius had always believed he knew Remus rather well. Remus sat next to him in Transfiguration and Charms, Remus helped him out if Snape had hexed his nose off and Remus bereted him about provoking Snape until Snape got so angry that he hexed Sirius' nose off in revenge.

He was beginning to realise that, aside from the times when once a month Padfoot revelled in the moonlight with Moony leaving the stag and rat far behind, he had missed out on a lot of opportunities simply to hang around with Remus: distracted by Quidditch practice or detentions with Rowley.

He awoke a week after the switch, not feeling like the world was going to end just because he wasn't Sirius Black, opened the curtains and saw himself holding a large bunch of roses.

"Morning Pete," Sirius yawned. "Roses? For me? You shouldn't have."

"I didn't," Peter informed him, colouring slightly.

"urprising," James commented sleepily, stumbling to the bathroom. He caught hold of the door and hung onto it for support. "Whof?" he asked.

"Translation from James' morning speech into generally accepted English," Sirius interjected. "Who are they for?"

James nodded. "Hate mornin'," he said to nobody in particular.

Everybody ignored him.

"For Isabella," Peter answered eventually.

"For who?" Sirius said stupidly.

"Isabella Claudius?" Remus asked, gradually picking himself out of the cocoon he had created of his bed covers. "Why?"

"Well, it's her birthday today," Peter told him, focusing on Remus instead of on Sirius. "I thought she'd like them… especially since I forgot her birthday when we were going out in fourth year."

There was a pause.

"Peter…" Remus said slowly. "You've never been out with Isabella."

"I have," Sirius said, finding himself growling slightly. "_I_ forgot her birthday in fourth year. Those flowers are from me."

Peter blushed furiously. "Well not just from you but I suppose yes, in a way they are. I sat next to her for two years though so-"

"Did you talk to her?" Sirius interrupted. "You do _know_ she's some sort of banshee from hell who'd hex you as soon as look at you… right?"

"I like her," Peter mumbled quietly then, unexpectedly, he gathered himself together, and looked back at Sirius who was glaring at him. "_I_ think she's nice and it's not her fault you were a rubbish boyfriend who forgot her birthday."

"Hey!" Sirius yelled, trying to get out of his bed and towards Peter. "I was not a rubbish boyfriend."

"Yes, you were," Peter retorted, angrily. "You dated her for four months: she thought you were wonderful. She wanted to go out to Hogsmeade for her birthday for a romantic meal in Madam Puddifoot's. You said OK-"

"That never happened!" Sirius said furiously, his hands quivering over his wand.

"It's all here in your memory," Peter told him coldly. "Now if you'll excuse me I want to see Isabella before breakfast. James… you should do something to your hair: it looks dreadful."

The door slammed.

"Well… that was weird," James commented, having recovered the power of coherent speech just in time to offer an unhelpful observation and absently flattening his hair.

"Seconded," Remus agreed. "Hurry up in the bathroom, Prongs: breakfast promises to be fascinating."

A

"Any moment now," Sirius hissed, stabbing vindictively at his waffle.

"Padfoot," Remus said quietly, trying to lay his hand on Sirius' shoulder and getting it shrugged off.

"Any moment now she's going to hex him for ruining her birthday by infecting the air with his presence….. Any moment now… and we'll have to run to his rescue, of course." He considered the problem. "I think a nice bat bogey hex should do the trick, what about you?"

"Sirius mate," James interrupted kindly. "He's been sitting at the Ravenclaw table for the last half an hour. I think if she was going to throw him out he would have gone now… don't you?"

"No!" Sirius said desperately. "No… it's just a…. a diversion tactic! So he's not prepared when she does whatever it is she's going to do to him. It'll probably be really bad-"

"Sirius," Remus said. "Nothing's going to happen."

"That's what you said about Snape!" Sirius said triumphantly. "You _said_ he had grown up and that he wasn't going to do anything. You _said_ that Moony!"

"Yes, but-"

"And look at me now!"

Sirius was shouting now and after smiling reassuringly in the direction of the teachers James shrugged and cast: _"Silencio."_

"Thank Merlin for that," Remus murmured.

Sirius continued to yell, though now his insults were thrown at James who, mercifully, could not here them.

"Stop that," James instructed severely in a voice that he saved especially for Sirius and disobedient first years. "I'll take the spell off you once you've listened to what Remus and I are trying to tell you. Do you understand?"

Sirius nodded sullenly.

"Good," James said. "You are annoyed at the moment, correct?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Correct," James continued, losing hold on his smile for a moment and letting it slip onto his face. "But do you know why you are annoyed?"

Sirius nodded violently and pointed towards where Peter was laughing at something Isabella had just said.

"But you don't actually like Isabella," Remus put it, taking over from James who smiled gratefully and attacked his breakfast again. "You think she's a… what was it, Prongs?"

"'anshee," James supplied through a mouthful of toast. He swallowed and added: "From hell."

Remus nodded. "Ah yes…. one who'd hex you as soon as look at you: I remember now. In fact, as far as we can see, the only reason you're annoyed is that _Peter_ has managed to win her affection."

Eyebrows narrowed, Sirius pointed at his throat.

"Do you promise not to shout?" Remus inquired.

Sirius waved his hands _'yes: whatever'_ and James removed the spell.

"Peter hasn't won her affection," Sirius spat, voice slightly hoarse after the morning's shouting. "He would never be able to go out with her if he wasn't me at the moment."

Remus glared. "You don't know that."

"Oh come _on,_ Remus," Sirius continued nastily. "How many girlfriends has Peter had? Let me see…. None, isn't that about right?"

"Isabella's birthday is now," Remus countered angrily. "He has no choice. Peter didn't ask for this change _nor_ did he go out of his way to taunt Snape until something like this happened. Leave him alone for once."

"Moony, don't you see what's happening?" Sirius insisted.

Remus' eyes flashed dangerously. "Yes, I think I do," he said, barely keeping the anger out of his voice. "If Peter does manage to woo Isabella then good for him. If _by some fluke _she's attracted to his personality then she's proved she's not as stupid as the rest of her year and worth holding onto."

"She's_ not,"_ Sirius countered contemptuously.

Remus stared at him, as if seeing him for the first time then said simply: "If on the other hand he manages to seduce her on good looks alone he's only doing what you've done for the last five years… James, I'll see you in Transfiguration."

And with that he rose from his seat and strode up towards the door, stopping only once to speak briefly to Isabella Claudius, presumably about her birthday and vanishing from the Hall.

"Well handled, mate," James commented quietly, pushing away the remains of his breakfast. "Well done."


	4. Part IV

Author's Note: Last Chapter! Last author's note and…. a rather sheepish apology. I realised as the reviews for the last chapter arrived that I did not label Alteration as slash. It… well, it is. Only very slight… but it's supposed to be there.

However, I know I should have told you so you could have fled in horror initially so, if anyone would like to read a non-slashy version I suppose I could write you one. I'd have to think about the ending because my entire aim in this fic was to get them together… but I would be more than willing to do so if you'd like that: sadly, my reviewers really do mean everything.

On that note I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, the last three chapters I should say. (I would thank you all personally but time is running out and my brother is going to kick me off any. moment. now. Just assume that you personally made my day because that's what happened) So there are just four individual messages:

Iniga - your reviews made me incredibly, stupidly happy and I meant to email you when I reached your profile and found you didn't ship anything but you have no email address…

Beady – which fics did you want finished? Give me some targets! Er… please.

Grimy Grunhilda Grunt – you review like me! …. Which is not something to be proud of but there we are.

And finally A Happy Little Bumble-bee who correctly identified the title, formly property of a certain Bill Shakespeare.

Thanks everyone for reading and I hope you enjoy the last chapter. Let me know if you don't.

* * *

Whoever had scheduled Divination in the morning deserved to be shot, Sirius thought moodily, trudging through the corridors towards Transfiguration. Or, alternately, subjected to two hours of Ammanon before any decent person was ready to be awake.

"You're late," McGonagall snapped as the three of them eventually ambled into her classroom. "And don't even think about telling me you got lost again: six years and that excuse has worn rather thin. Sit down boys. As I was saying-"

Sirius blocked out her voice. He was still angry which made it difficult to think, let alone concentrate on school work even in Transfiguration. He was also experiencing another emotion. One he had only ever felt on one other occasion: that terrible morning when Remus had opened his eyes, wincing with the pain that simple movement brought and asked quietly if Sirius could tell him what had happened the night before. Sirius Black was not equipped to deal with guilt.

"I hope I am not keeping you up, Mr Pettigrew."

Sirius looked up and discovered McGonagall two feet away from him; he smiled rather weakly. "Of course not, Professor."

Professor McGonagall's mouth went very thin. "I asked you a question," she prompted.

Mentally Sirius replayed the last couple of minutes and found she was correct. "Inflecte," he answered eventually. "The simple switching spell… That's right, isn't it?"

The creases round his teacher's mouth disappeared with surprise. "That is correct, Mr Pettigrew."

Next to him James stuck his hand in the air.

McGonagall turned to James. "Mr Potter?"

"With all due respect Professor: why would we ever _want_ to switch ears with another person?"

McGonagall raised a thin eyebrow. "Firstly: because I told you to and I am your teacher. Secondly: because you may be examined on it and thirdly because at one stage in your life this may happen and you will be powerless to avert the situation." She flicked her wand and James' ears obediently changed place with Sirius'.

"And we always thought you had no sense of humour," James said, trying not to look disturbed that his ears were not his own any more and failing miserably.

"Expect the unexpected, Mr Potter," McGonagall said, smiling slightly. "Mr Pettigrew: if you would be so good as to restore Mr Potter's own ears to him again I'm sure he would appreciate it."

_"Inflecte,"_ Sirius said lazily: almost forgetting to be angry and guilty and confused. "Didn't we learn this spell in our first year, professor?"

"Indeed you did, Mr Pettigrew," McGonagall answered, walking back to the front of the class. "So, in light of this observation, can anyone tell me why we're learning how to switch ears?"

"Because it's always useful to go over what you've already learnt," Remus offered from the front.

"To help us with the exams," somebody else added.

McGonagall shook her head. "Something less abstract and bearing in mind we were talking about Metamorphmagi last lesson. Mr Black?"

There was a loud pause whilst Peter waited for Sirius to tell him the answer and Sirius waited for Peter to realise that was not going to happen.

"I… don't know," Peter admitted eventually.

Sirius put his hand in the air.

"Yes, Mr Pettigrew?"

"To disguise ourselves, Professor," Sirius answered smugly. "With someone else's nose, for example, a person looks completely different; new vocal chords and they sound different. The obvious advantage over a glamour or the Polyjuice Potion lying in its simplicity: a quick and easy spell that can be maintained over a long time with out any magical strain on the witch or wizard."

McGonagall looked even more surprised than before. "Yes... that's it… Precisely. Ten points to Gryffindor."

The lesson continued. Peter answered no more questions correctly and McGonagall had to snap twice at Remus for whispering the answers to him as Sirius sat at the back of the room trying to convince himself his revenge was justified.

Finally, glaring her finest glare of disapproval, McGonagall approached poor Peter who looked positively terrified. "I am going to assume that this is all some elaborate prank," she informed him, voice steely. "However, I warn you that it is not one that I find very amusing especially this close to your NEWTs."

"No Professor," Peter answered miserably.

She sighed and softened. "I apologise for suggesting that one day there would be questions you wouldn't be able to answer but this is taking it too far, Sirius. Do you feel ready to participate properly in my lesson?"

"Yes," Peter said, in what was apparently a statement but which was clearly tinged with a quiet kind of questioning hope.

"Thank you," McGonagall replied, almost kindly. "Now we've got that over with I suspect you can tell the class how to recognise if someone has cast a switching spell on a part of their body."

Closing his eyes and pushing down the wounded pride that still clamoured at him Sirius forced himself to reach for his quill. _'Magical edges,' _he wrote.

"Magical edges," Peter repeated. "You can…er… see the glisten of magic around what ever should not normally be there."

"Thank you." McGonagall smiled. "Welcome back, Mr Black. I'll see you in detention on Wednesday."

A

Remus was not at lunch. Sirius excused himself and headed towards the dormitory where he found his friend ostensibly reading something very large and dusty.

Nervous suddenly, Sirius knocked on the door though he was already inside. Remus looked up, closed the book and waited.

"Sorry I'm so rubbish," Sirius said, wishing he were better at apologising.

Remus sighed slightly. "You're not rubbish."

"Well, sorry for being a prat then."

There was a pause then: "Likewise," Remus said, running his fingers through his hair. "I didn't mean to be so ridiculously melodramatic at breakfast… it just sort of happened."

"I probably deserved it," Sirius admitted, flopping down on the bed: almost bursting with relief.

Remus smiled. "You did but I usually manage to control myself better. I didn't mean to insinuate you were some kind of shallow… Casanova-"

Sirius laughed with surprise. "You meant that? I thought I was just imagining it."

"No… Sorry about that."

"S'alright… I am a bit."

There was silence in which both of them waited for the other to speak.

"I had an idea at breakfast," Remus said at last. "I was going to tell you but then I was too busy being angry at you and storming around breaking things."

Sirius looked up. "You broke things? Like what?"

"Nothing that I couldn't fix, don't worry. Anyway that's not the point; the point is that I think the reason we're having so much trouble reversing the spell is that we don't know what it was so I thought we could try getting it out of your memory. I would ask Peter as he seems to have access to your memory but he's going out tonight with Isabella, James and Lily so it'll have to be you."

Sirius nodded. "That sounds reasonable. How?"

"I'll tell you later once I've collected some stuff from Finel."

"Tell me now!" Sirius demanded, bouncing on his bed. "I hate mysteries!"

Remus laughed. "Come on: you'll be late for potions."

A

"I suppose you know what this is?"

"Pensieve," said Sirius promptly as Remus placed the dish gently down in front of him. "Well, it's not Pensieve yet but it will be soon. My esteemed father had one locked away in his study."

"Did you ever use it?"

"I wasn't allowed in."

"That wasn't what I asked," Remus said with a smile.

Sirius grinned back. "Only once and he caught me pretty quickly."

Remus settled himself back in his usual chair. "It's very easy," he explained. "Just touch your wand to your temple whilst concentrating on the memory you want to examine."

"No problem," Sirius said confidently. Then he paused, wand raised. "Just before I do this can you answer something for me?"

Remus shrugged. "I can try but I don't really know much more about it than you do."

"No, it's not to do with the Pensieve," Sirius said quickly. "Why did you want to ask Peter and not me?"

"Ah," Remus said. "I wondered when you would ask that." He started fiddling with his hair and Sirius had to resist the urge to get up and brush his hands away with quiet irritation. "The truth is… I'd rather you didn't go poking around in Peter's memory."

Sirius lowered the wand. "Why ever not?"

"There are some things that should stay private," Remus said sharply. "Peter has access to your memories so you must have access to his and why am I telling you this?"

"I don't know," Sirius agreed cheerfully, prodding the part of his memory that was Peter's. "Seems ridiculously foolish of you….temporary mind block perhaps and HOLY MERLIN!"

Remus grimaced. "And that would be what I didn't want you to know."

"You kissed Peter!" Sirius exclaimed, horrified.

"I know," Remus said irritably. "Unlike you _I_ was actually there."

"Why?" Sirius demanded. "Why would you… why would he?! What the hell is going on?"

Remus scowled. "It was last year and Peter was getting worried about never having kissed anyone and wanted to know what it was like."

"So you offered yourself as a willing test subject?" Sirius asked, incredulously.

Remus coloured. "Well… not exactly, but sort of, yes. I wanted to see if kissing a boy was different from kissing a girl."

"Was it?" Sirius inquired, flippantly.

"No," Remus said, mildly. "I didn't fancy Peter either.

This sank in slowly.

"Either?" Sirius said slowly.

"Yes…Oddly enough that sounded a lot better inside my head," Remus admitted awkwardly.

"No kidding." Sirius stared at his friend for a while until he decided it was probably rude and looked back down on his bed where the Pensieve lay. "Ah yes… we were going to do this memory thing."

He touched his wand to his temple and withdrew a long strand of silvery light and dropped it gently into the pot.

"Right that should be-" Remus started but Sirius shook his head.

"I think I may have got the wrong one," he said rather lamely. "Sorry: give me a moment." He removed a second shining strand and deposited it into the pot.

"Alright. I think that was it: Are you coming as well?"

"Of course."

Sirius nodded and touched his nose to the surface of the Pensieve which started to swirl before sucking him inwards into a room that looked exactly like the one they had just left. A moment later Remus appeared beside him. He took a quick look around the dormitory then glared at Sirius. "Why are we in this memory?"

Sirius smiled weakly. "I suppose it was just on my mind. An accident that could happen to any…" he tailed off as Remus' glare became stronger. "Sorry," he finished in a small voice.

Behind them younger versions of Remus and Peter made their first stumbling steps into emotional maturity.

"Are you sure about this?" The seventeen-year-old version of Remus asked, nervously. Peter nodded.

Sirius shuffled his feet and looked away. "So Peter knows you're… you know…"

"Gay?" Remus offered helpfully at the same time as Sirius said:

"…Not attracted to girls."

"Yes."

"Oh."

The pause began longer and more awkward.

"Why'd you tell Peter and not me or James?" Sirius asked, slightly hurt but at the same time massively relieved that Remus hadn't talked to him about this.

Remus shrugged. "Well, you never asked."

Sirius started laughing. "Why would anyone ever do that?"

"James did."

"James did what?" said Sirius, feeling very stupid and wishing he hadn't _accidentally_ brought them to this memory.

"Asked. A couple of months ago. I told Peter but James actually figured it out for himself."

Right__

Remus started to smile. "Is this embarrassing you?"

"Hideously," Sirius admitted sheepishly. "Not that I mind the whole… 'no girls'… _thing_," he added quickly. "It's the 'I didn't notice' thing that's really annoying."

The smile became slightly less amused and merely kind. "I don't mind that you didn't know."

Sirius nodded. "No I know: it's almost not the point though… oh thank Merlin: this memory is over"

The scene faded quickly into the potions corridor. Snape had his wand against Sirius' throat.

"What no more banter?" the memory of Sirius drawled. "Do your worst Snivellus: I promise they won't interfere… but you know it's terribly bad form to not even insult my family lineage or my attitude first." James yelled something and Sirius shouted: "bloody look at me won't you."

The real Sirius made a face. "Is there any chance you didn't hear that?"

"You are ridiculous," Remus said with a smile. "You know that, right?"

Sirius sighed. "I was rather hoping it would never come up… Ok, here comes the curse. Sounded very long and complicated-"

_"Inflecte!"_ Snape intoned, quickly. _"Unus muto Unus; Corpus muto Corpus."___

A rather breathless James ran round the corner, aimed far too far to the left and yelled: _"Expelliarmus!" _

_"Inflecte!"_ Snape screamed in response, ducking James' second disarming spell, swinging around and engulfing Peter in his spell.

"He got me with a switching spell?!" Sirius bellowed, horrified and annoyed and relieved all at once. "That's first year magic! He can't do that!"

Remus started laughing. "No wonder we couldn't find the cure in the Restricted Section."

"That should be against the rules!" Sirius continued angrily. "The idea is that you do something terribly difficult and impressive to the other person. NOT A BLOODY SWITCHING SPELL!"

"If it makes you feel better," Remus said, managing to calm his laughter for a moment. "It's a slightly altered Switching Spell that we wouldn't have been able to do until about…. Fourth year."

Unfortunately, this merely made things worse and Sirius continued to splutter incoherently until Remus took hold of his arm and yanked him out of the Pensieve.

"I can't believe it was only a switching spell," Sirius muttered, collapsing back onto his bed. "A switching spell-"

"If you don't stop that I won't reverse the _simple switching spell_ and you'll be stuck as Peter forever," Remus interrupted.

"Could do it myself," Sirius said sulkily.

"You can if you want to."

"Don't want to."

"Then stop complaining," Remus said, exasperatedly.

"Like complaining," Sirius explained, cheering up and reaching into the Pensieve with his wand to collect his abandoned memories. "Fun."

"As is talking like a three-year-old?"

Sirius shook his head. "No that gets boring really quickly."

Remus smiled. "Alright, well I better take this back to Finel before he notices it's gone."

Sirius looked up. "You stole it?"

"_Borrowed_ it," Remus corrected. "I had every intention of returning it and now I am."

"You have such a dubious morality."

A grin. "Why thank you, Mr Padfoot." He checked the clock on the wall. "The others should be arriving back any moment now so if they get back here before me try not to shout 'A SWITCHING SPELL!" over and over again if you can possibly avoid it."

"Ah yes… Peter returns from his date with Isabella: super-bitch extraordinaire." A thought struck him as Remus reached the door. "I'm not going to have to keep going out with her once everything's back to normal, am I?"

"I shouldn't think so," Remus replied thoughtfully. "Peter was going to tell her who he was tonight."

"Of course," Sirius drawled. "Saint Wormtail would _never_ lead a girl on."

"I advised him to tell her actually," Remus remarked mildly. "I'm sure Peter would have decided to do it later but I thought she'd be more likely to react positively if he tells her before she feels like she's been lied to." He leant against the door frame lightly. "So, in answer to your question, she'll either continue going out with him as he really is or break it off."

Sirius muttered something into his sheets.

"Sorry?" Remus asked.

"I said: Let's hope she's worth all this trouble," Sirius snapped.

Remus nodded. "I think she is."

"Meh," Sirius grunted. "Just go return that thingy before you're clapped in detention."

"Remember-"

"-No shouting," Sirius finished, smiling. "Yer I remember. Can't say I won't… but I'll try."

_"For you: Anything."_

_"I'll remember that."_

Remus disappeared round the door with a grin.

A

He had been himself again for slightly less than two days and the novelty had still not worn off. At least it had not worn off for Sirius; James and Remus had started to duck out of rooms quickly whenever he entered just in case Sirius wanted to show them some very advanced magic he had not been able to perform as Peter.

As for Peter himself, it turned out that Isabella had actually been rather relieved to find out he wasn't Sirius and that she could continue hating the real Sirius properly. Fortunately, Sirius himself was happy enough simply not to be Peter anymore that he didn't even really mind sitting next to her in Potions any more: something that probably annoyed her far more than anything he could have actually concocted himself as she and Peter had spent the last lesson throwing sad looks at each other across the classroom, much to James' amusement.

Today Sirius had changed into Padfoot and back again approximately twenty times just to prove he could still do it (neither Sirius nor Peter had dared change into their animagi forms whilst they were switched) answered lots of questions in Transfiguration and none in Divination before heading down to the statue of the one eyed witch and loping down to Hogsmeade where a large number of sugar quills were waiting for a new owner. Then some time between then and now he had paid a visit to Professor Finel and stolen his Pensieve once more.

It was still lying where he'd left it, on top of Remus' desk, as was the note which declared in his scrawl:

_"To Remus,_

_Thank you._

_Love Sirius."___

The sugar quills had gone though and when he approached the table the top of the Pensieve was transparent: now looking more like an aerial photograph than a bowl of light. Sirius took a deep breath and, before he could change his mind, fell into the past. He must have made a sound as he landed in his memory next to Remus because, without taking his eyes away from the memory, Remus said: "I was wondering when you were going to join me."

"Now," Sirius explained, feeling foolish again. "About now."

Remus turned around from where he had been watching James gently inserting a salamander into the back of Sirius' robes. "This is very nice, Padfoot, but what exactly is it?"

"This is the summer after our fourth year exams," Sirius explained as the scene changed into their fifth year Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom in which a fifteen-year-old Sirius Black lent forward slyly, caught hold of Remus' hair and gave it a gentle tug and sat back innocently in his place before Remus could turn around.

"It was James," Sirius said helpfully in time with the memory of himself. He grinned at Remus as the younger version of the werewolf turned back to his work. "I like this memory, don't you?" he said happily as the fifteen-year-old Sirius leant forward again and pulled Remus' hair once more. This time, however, the other was prepared and swung around hexing Sirius quickly.

"I can't think why," the Remus standing next to Sirius said idly as the younger Sirius stuck his hand in the air.

"Remus just changed my hair into snakes, Professor. Can I go to the hospital wing?"

Professor Shrewsbury raised his eyes delicately and regarded the bristling mass of reptiles that had previously been Sirius' hair. "You may Mr Black," he decided eventually. "If, and only if, you can tell me honestly that you did not do something to deserve this punishment."

The younger Sirius put his hand down with a sigh and resumed doing his work.

"Ten points to Gryffindor, Mr Lupin, for a really excellent charm," Shrewsbury added lightly. "And another five for being the first person to silence Mr Black: a feat I had believed quite impossible until this moment."

The memory faded into another where the Marauders revealed their animagi shapes to Remus; into another where they sat by his bed after a particularly nasty transformation; into James shouting at Sirius for being a reckless bastard who never thought about anybody but himself and did he know that Snape could be dead by now?; into Remus just waiting silently whilst Sirius tried to apologise and walking away when he could not; into the last week and finally into Sirius simply sitting at his desk in their Defence classroom, ignoring Shrewsbury's lecture on… whatever it was he was lecturing about today and staring at something.

"What is this?" Remus asked quietly.

"I think," Sirius answered, slowly and wondering if what he was about to say would sound quite as stupid outside his head as it did inside it. "I think this one is me realising that I love you and rather wondering whether you might possibly consider loving me back since you don't actually like girls." He paused. "What do you think?"

"But _you_ like girls," Remus pointed out.

Sirius tried a smile. "Believe me: you cannot be more surprised than I am." He ran his hands through his hair; realised Remus wasn't saying anything and started to fill the silence. "And I'm sorry that I'm ridiculous and annoying and that I'm not very nice to Snape all of the time-"

"You're never nice to Snape."

"I could be," Sirius said, feeling vague desperation welling up inside him and wishing he weren't in love with anyone because it had been much easier when Remus had just been his wry best friend who would probably help him if he whined enough. "I'll get better, I promise. Just… say something, I suppose. Anything. So I know if I have to drown myself before Prongs finds out or not."

"Erm," Remus said. "I don't know what to say. Don't drown yourself would be a good place to start, I suppose."

Sirius nodded. "OK that's good. Don't really know how to swim so I wasn't looking forward to that anyway."

"You wouldn't need to be able to swim," Remus pointed out calmly. "That's the idea and I'm getting distracted again. Don't drown yourself first and secondly, this is all my fault. Well, it's slightly James' fault too but I shouldn't have listened to him-"

It was as if Remus were talking another language. "Do you love me or not?" Sirius said breaking across Remus' stream of apparently unrelated information.

"What?" Remus said.

"Love," Sirius repeated. "Do you love me?"

"Oh. Yes, of course."

Sirius felt a ridiculous grin breaking across his face. "That's great…. So what's all this rot about James?"

Remus was smiling now, as well. "He told me not to tell you because, apparently, the constant assurance of his affection is what made Lily hate him for six years. I suggested it probably also had something to with him being a total berk but he said that you were a total berk and that I still liked you so that probably wasn't it. At the time this seemed quite logical."

"You took dating advice from James?"

"I said at the time… I'm beginning to suspect it wasn't such good advice after all."

"Git," Sirius said, happily. "Remind me to do something nasty to him once we get out of here."

"You can wait your turn," Remus informed him, smiling. "I definitely have priority on this."

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Alright. You can hex our friend first but only this once…" he tailed off sheepishly.

"What?"

"Well I was going to say "and only because I love you" but it sounds nauseating."

Remus laughed. "It is rather but I'll forgive you for it."

"Very much appreciated," Sirius said with a smile which quickly became nervous again. "So… this is probably the… kissing part, right?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "How have you had so many girlfriends?"

"Don't know. Luck, probably," Sirius said, shrugging. "And good looks, of course."

"Of course."

"I'm not really very good with the whole charming-"

And presumably before he could work himself into a bigger hole Remus had wrapped his arms around Sirius neck and kissed him gently. It certainly not a perfect kiss: Remus was a lot taller than most of Sirius' previous girlfriends, and their noses collided at least once but, for a while, it was a perfect moment.

"Better than Peter?"

"Are you going to insist on bringing that up ever again?"

"Possibly."

"Well… try not to, please."

"I'll try."

_"For you: anything."_

_Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come;  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved._

_- William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116_


End file.
